You know those moments in your life where multiple things seem to challenge you and your stance in this world? Some people may call these “things” obstacles; others may merely say it’s crap hitting the fan. Regardless, these challenging things all culminate to create a moment in your life that is not as easy as others. I have been experiencing something like this for a little while now. Let’s just say, for my sake, that we call it a “stressful time”. I’m acknowledging that things have not been easy for me while accepting the fact that these “things” can provide growth opportunities.
What factors are contributing to my stressful time are not really relevant, at least to this posting. The people who are in my immediate world already are aware of the things anyway. What I wanted to reflect on was the one aspect of this moment and moments like this that sets the tone for the process of growth and influences the outcome. I was debating on how to address this aspect, originally thinking I should call it the “stronger vs. the weaker,” the “rational vs. irrational,” or the “logical vs. emotional parts of me.” I decided, though, that these comparisons ultimately associated positive connotations with one side and negative with the other— one part of me was good, while there was something wrong with the other part. If I want to work my way through a “stressful time,” it’s probably best that I don’t go into it thinking that there is something wrong with me. Perhaps I need to learn and grow, but I should be able to accept all parts of who I am and understand that they are there for a reason.
I thus decided to try to understand my situation from the perspectives of the head and the heart. I would say these are rather metaphorical labels, so I will explain what I mean by them. I refer to the “head” perspective as the one that would speak for you in the most objective way— the perspective that can step outside of your body and experience and understand a moment in relation to the way others might. I think the “head” perspective is the one that, if consoling a friend, would give advice. It uses reason to understand things.
The “heart” perspective is just as powerful; however, this is the highly subjective perspective. It is personalized to each individual because it is shaped by his/her life experiences and unique personality. When people say that they have “baggage,” they are making reference to a history that helps foster the “heart” perspective. People can develop sensitivities to things or have scars from past events that will alter their perspectives. I don’t want people to think, though, that I only associate this perspective with things that have caused pain for people because people’s perspectives can be shaped just as equally by moments that have brought about joy and contentment. It is just a perspective that uses more emotion to understand things.
Do I think that there are times where one perspective may be more effective than the other? Yes. Do I also think that, at times, these perspectives may be at odds with one another? Yes. However, I do think that these are both equally real inside each person and an individual would be pretty much up the creek without a paddle if he/she tried to turn off one. What we go through in life and how we feel about it will definitely impact even our most objective thoughts. These moments also help us build our wisdom, which is fuel for the “head” perspective. Yet, there are some things in life that just cannot be explained by reason. The “heart” perspective allows people to understand things on a way more internal level, and it also allows people to experience compassion and empathy. It isn’t just about walking a mile in someone else’s shoes; it’s about feeling the journey along the way, too. In that essence, these perspectives can be complementary to one another.
I wrote all of this out not to blabber, but to try to make myself more aware of how I am processing things. One of the biggest challenges that I face in moments like these is when I have a surplus of thoughts and feelings, and I need to organize them. I think it is important to understand which ideas come from the “head” perspective and which of them come from the “heart.” For example, in a situation you may severely reject, it would be valuable to know if you reject it because it is empirically flawed, or if this situation opens an untreated wound inside of you. Is it something you need to work through and move past, or is it something that is wise to avoid altogether?
I also think it is important to differentiate between these two perspectives because we all strive balance. To be able to allow both perspectives to equally be in use means that a person isn’t denying him-/herself the right to show all aspects of who he/she is. I needed to jot this down to remind myself of these things. It is not easy to find the balance, but if I can acknowledge that I am seeking to attain it, then I think I am on the right track.
